When Ideas run out

I have sometimes wondered why am I not tagging my posts. Ideally this would have helped me in organizing the thoughts that I put on the (virtual) paper. But coming to think of it now, throughout my life I am like this. I never feel like organizing myself and am always able to find some new directions within the mess. And again I have come to a juncture where I have to decide on something pretty fast. People say that focusing on things at present would help in avoiding this mess, but still then I have a bigger question to answer - What next?

First of all let me note down the problems that I am going to face in the coming months - 

1) Problem #1 is that of 2nd stage MTP. In theory I have given a detailed writeup on my objectives, research questions, methodologies, rationale and work plan to the department. But deep down I know that I am no longer going to look at that draft anymore. So how will I make myself work?

2) What am I going to do after M.Tech assuming I pass out in June? Is it going to be a PhD or a job?

3) What to tell at home, in either of cases above, when I meet them next?

So let me try answering them one by one.

1) I don't think the objectives are that bad, though taking a second opinion would be better. Since the plan is to look at Pune and Thane districts, a brief groundwork on the type of schools in both these districts, the report cards on different facilities and if possible EDI's for these two districts will be the best way to start. The basic info on CAL implementation in Kerala, Gujarat and MP would be the next logical step and trying to make contacts with the institutions and people should be the next thing in agenda. Throughout these steps it is important that I am getting motivated enough, like how I am writing all these now, to get the best results. It becomes a bit hard if there is no sense of purpose in whatever is being done. I should target to send a mail to Agnihotri by Monday with relevant data and rationale for making him take a look and agree on becoming co-guide. So all I need is that small push daily for doing even as little work as data collection.

 

2) This at the moment is the million dollar question for me. I would definitely love to continue my tryst with academic life bit more, but on what pretext will I do that becomes important if its a doctoral research. I do have a great affinity for the ET department here . But continuing here may not be like what it is now. By next year most of the gang members would be at different locations and I would be all alone. And it is always better to look at a different location to move away from comfort zones.
The case of accepting a job will depend on what kind of job I am getting. I want to do that work in which I have passion, and that is exactly what I haven't found out yet. These coming months should be ideally used to find this exact thing.

3) This question now needs no answer. I don't know what happened to me, but when I called home I had a pretty long discussion on this matter. Whatever were my doubts and uncertainties, I have conveyed it to the best of my belief. Now let them discuss and tell me what is it that they want.

The only thing that I have to focus in the coming week is on Problem #1, If that is satisfactorily answered many pieces of this puzzle will fall into its place. This is my hope and this is my belief. And thats what you stick onto when all Ideas run out.